Thursday, February 19, 2009

Pumpin' Ain't Easy (NICU Mother Theme)

As you know, I've been spending a lot of time working to produce enough healthy food for little Alexandra. It's a struggle for NICU moms, because our babies aren't with us -- the hormones don't quite kick in the way they do when you're with your baby 24x7. Plus, one of the most common tips, "think about your baby," is more likely to stress you out ("I wonder how she's doing ... I hope she's not crying ... I hope she's gaining weight ... I hope she doesn't feel all alone ..."), especially in the early days when you can't even hold your baby, than it is to create happy warm babymom feelings.

Anyway, as an outlet for my frustration (and yes, I've talked to the lactation consultants -- I'm working it out), I came up with this interpretation of a hiphop classic.

Pumpin' Ain't Easy (NICU Mother Theme)
[With Apologies to Ice-T]

NICU mother's in the house...
Grab yo' phlanges

Pumpin ain't pumpin ain't easy woman [repeat 4X]

Take a look at me, everything I wear's stretched out
Pump baby, I can't see my nips with the lights out
This is how I do it, pumping milk really blows
NICU mother baby, and it's a heavy load
Step back, hater make a little room for my hose
Slippers on my feet, hope the milk really flows
Baby is the reason all the real pumpers know that
NICU mother puts pump to breast
She got no chance trying not to get stressed
I pump on the right and I pump on the left
If you don't dig the pumpin I could really care less
Increase my supply, increase my supply baby

Pumpin ain't pumpin ain't easy woman [repeat 3X]
Pumpin ain't pumpin ain't easy...


Nicole said...

OMG that is hilarious! Pumping is not easy in the best of circumstances, I can only imagine how challenging it is for you. Hang in there!

Brenna said...

That just made me choke on my tea! Particularly because I was imaging you pimp-shuffling along in your slippers to the song. Great to see that your sense of humor is helping you get through this--hang in there babe!

Brenna said...

Thanks for the note about the boys, M! I just nominated you for an "Honest Scraps" award, by the way. Because I know you have so much spare time on your hands... But really, I just wanted you to know that I enjoy your writing.

Beth said...

Too funny. I can hear you signing that song and well that makes it all the funnier. Pumping really blows. You aren't alone in thinking that but you are doing great for keeping it up! Keep on pumping (and singing!)

Andrea said...

Your rap is greta and hysterical! Praying for Lexie and for your strength. Hope that milk comes in soon! ((HUGS))

Rebecca said...

Diet Coke, out the nose!!! Hey, you are the Dairy Queen! Think about dilly bars.

dcpeg said...

Loved Rebecca's "Dairy Queen" take. LOL!!! When you get right down to it, a breast pump is a torture device, probably designed by a male. Thank goodness that women, in all our wisdom, can maintain a sense of humor about such things. You go MOM!!!

dcpeg said...

Just remembered something my other sister told me. She nursed all four of her kids and now, even during perimenopause, she says she can feel her milk drop whenever she hears a baby cry! Not fun when your youngest is 16.

Cami said...

Gangsta, you're so money and you don't even know it.

Mijke said...

Man, I remember those pumping days (and nights). Looking at pictures of our premature twins in their isolettes in the NICU only made me aware of how scary the whole thing was... I stopped taking the pictures out after a few days and started staring at the pump instead. After a few weeks, my milk came in everytime I even just THOUGHT of that little black pumping-backpack.

Pumping is a lot easier sitting next to your child, looking at her breathing/sleeping, touching her through the little porthole. I spend many hours pumping that way.

Hang in there! It won't be long before you get to take your strong little girl home with you!

Oh, and as for your previous post: YES, you SHOULD try and get all the sleep you can while she is still in the hospital. After more than a year of interrupted sleep I am starting to regret not listening to the nurses whenever they told me to go home and rest. And NO, it is NOT possible to follow up on that advice, even if you would want to...

L said...

THAT IS HILARIOUS!! I used to be an NICU nurse, and I bet you are just a delight to be around. Keep up all the good work, and hold on to that humor. I am here via ICLW btw. You sound awesome!

caramama said...

Love the rap!!! I'm so impressed you are keeping a sense of humor through all this.

Pumping was hard for me even around my baby, so I can't even imagine what you have to go through! Serious frustration. You are a fantastic mother to go through everything you are for your child!

Now, pumping ain't easy... but it's necessary. (Another rap reference for you.)