Friday, April 18, 2008

Eggs Don't Go There! Glory Days' New Featured Menu Item

I am taking the day off today (mental health day -- no Mogwai allowed) and was perusing my home email when I saw that Glory Days Grill, a local chain with a restaurant near our house, was announcing new menu items. We eat there from time to time so I opened the email. I found myself failing to comprehend the vision -- nay, the nightmare -- that filled my screen. Note the photo.


STEP FOUR:
Vomit.

What the hell was that? Apparently this is called the Glory Burger. The menu describes it thusly:
Our fresh seasoned and grilled burger, zesty
BBQ sauce, fried onion straws, bacon and cheddar
cheese. Topped with a fried egg. 8.99

Why? Why top it with a fried egg? Who is going to order this? What is WRONG with them? And do you notice how they just sort of slip the egg part in there at the end? Don't you think that should be the first thing they mention? I'd write it this way:

Topped with a fried egg, this burger is not for the
faint of heart, nor for those with cholesterol counts
over 200.
Beneath the egg you will find our fresh
seasoned and grilled burger, zesty
BBQ sauce,
fried onion straws, bacon and cheddar

cheese. 8.99

That would be more appropriate, in my opinion, for full disclosure.

There were several other new menu items too, including a Cobb Salad and a Salmon Dinner. They all sounded fairly tasty and normal. I might even order the salmon one of these days. And yet they chose to feature this monstrosity, this crime of a meal that should not occur in nature.

If the goal was to get people to say "WTF?" and click to see what that thing was, I suppose they achieved that. But I can't say I'm thinking "Glory Days" and "mouth-watering" at the same time right now.

I think I'll go eat some fruit.

9 comments:

caramama said...

It's the breakfast burger!!! Sure to be an early morning hit! (Excuse me a minute while I barf.)

At least it wasn't steak tartar. :P

dcpeg said...

Holy Cow! Just looking at this concoction is enough to clog one's arteries! I think maybe the devil has taken over this restaurant's marketing department.

sara said...

Ha! I do like your description better! I actually felt like vomiting before you even wrote step four vomit! You should lurk by the restaurant and see if anyone actually orders it. Sad thing is, I bet there's a lot of people going yummm an egg and a burger... Genius! (Probably most of them big burly men!)

Mel said...

I'm obviously not pregnant and the visual still made me want to hurl.
Grody, man.

Rebecca said...

It's like an Egg McMuffin on 'roids.

DCSportsChick said...

That reminds me of a commercial on "The Simpsons":

"We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger."

Hmm...

Jace said...

I shouldn't admit this, but I would totally eat that.

Becoming Mommy said...

Actually, add a cup of chili (as yet another burger topping) and you have Hubby's absolutely FAV-O-RITE burger of all time.

but then he likes lots of nasty artery clogging faves like white gravy.

And Cara...he eats steak tartar too. So he's just plain weird.

Missy said...

LOL! eggs on a burger are not anything new. We were out last week and one of our friends get this. they liked it. personally, I think the glory cheesesteak looks disgusting (chili and egg on cheesesteak). **shrug**