Thursday, March 12, 2009

Two Weeks Home

Alexandra has been home with us now for two weeks, which marks the first two weeks since November that no member of our family has been in residence at the hospital. I still think of the families there and all the babies in the NICU. This whole experience has brought me countless new perspectives, even just walking around the hospital.

Whenever I'd see women in their hospital gowns being wheeled into the NICU to see their premature babies for the first time, I'd think, "that was me."

Up on the 6th floor, where Lexie lived for two weeks just down the hall from my old room, I'd see glimpses of the women on bedrest and think, "that was me."

When I'd see tired, worried-looking men getting off the elevator with takeout dinner for their hospitalized wives, I'd think, "that was Steve."

When we were finally checking out of the NICU, I saw other mothers watching me and I knew what they were thinking, because that had been me, every day until it was our turn.

My mom is visiting this week, helping us get some extra sleep. Lexie is doing well here at home, although she hasn't quite taken to her bassinet the way she did her NICU crib. She's a great sleeper now as long as someone is holding her. We're trying to get her used to the bassinet, little by little.

It hasn't been an easy road to parenthood, so I'm wired to expect adversity. Because preemies are more likely to die of SIDS, I'm completely paranoid. This probably contributes to my wanting to hold her as much as possible. (Then I can make sure she's still breathing.) I know I'll have to chill out, especially when Steve goes back to work and I'm on my own here at home, but for now this makes me feel better.

Here's Lexie hanging out in her bouncy seat. She's not too sure about it.

Here's a shot of her fluffy hair, post bath, while she chews on my sweatshirt.

15 comments:

Caseystay said...

Such good news!!! You guys are fighters--I'm so glad she's doing well and that you and Steve are doing well. Having Mom there will be a huge help. I love the picture of her chewing on a sweatshirt--what a cutie pie. Sending you hugs and lots of good wishes!

Bluebird said...

Oh, she's so beautiful! How wonderful to see her home with her family :) I'm glad to hear things are going well. I've been thinking about you guys. You have every right to be anxious; hopefully it will help having your mom there.

dcpeg said...

Many thanks for sharing pics of your "special delivery". She is, of course adorable! I especially love the fuzzy hair - babies are just too cute fresh from a bath!!

Perspective is a good thing though you probably don't want to dwell on it too much. You and Steve are starting a whole new phase in your lives and it will be filled with surprises, scares and lots and lots of laughs. Glad your Mom is there to bolster you both. I'm sure she's beside herself with joy, too! Thankfully, staring at, cuddling and smelling babies is not harmful to one's health! Enjoy!

Tiffany & Beth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beth said...

Glad to see an update! I am so happy that have Lexie at home now. Oh and thanks for sharing pictures! More pictures!!

kgiff said...

Megan, she is precious. I'm so glad she's home and everyone is adjusting to family life.

May said...

Wow, that first photo could be my daughter 3.5 years ago, right down to the aquarium pattern bouncer and the miracle blanket!!!

Beautiful!

areyoukiddingme said...

She's so sweet! I'm glad things are going well. After all you had to go through to get her home, if you want to hold her all the time, you should. Good luck getting some rest, though...

Brenna said...

She's so beautiful!!! Oh, I'm so happy she's home. You give her all the hugs and squeezes and cuddles you want--you all have certainly earned your snuggle time together the hard way. She's really incredible, Megan--thanks for sharing some pictures.

Mijke said...

Glad things are moving along... And what a cute little girl!!

I know what you mean: they all used to be me, too. Just last week I was in the hospital again for a follow up, and in walked two new parents with an empty carseat on a stroller. Coming to pick up their son, to take him home with them for the very first time. Even though it's been more than a year since my husband and I went to pick up ours, I still knew exactly how I felt. And how they must feel. Happy, nervous, joyful and scared, all at the same time. It brought tears to my eyes, but through those tears I was able to smile.

It'll always be a part of you, the whole hard road to parenthood, the difficult pregnancy, the NICU experience. What I've noticed, though, is that over time it becomes less and less part of the child(ren). Although I still think about our experience a lot, our twins are just growing and playing and giggling. They never look back. They were too small to remember, and by the time they are old enough to understand, it will be nothing more than a story to them. A story as told by their parents, teary eyed but smiling...

Hilary said...

She precious!!!

m said...

Thanks for the pics. Really glad to see you are all home and well.

And, as if you didn't have enough to do, I just stuck your name in for one of them fancy internet awards.

caramama said...

She is soooooo beautiful! I love the fuzzy hair!

You have been through a lot, and I think it's very smart of you to keep in mind the risks associated with your situation. (Please remember that people who struggle with getting pregnant and have difficult pregnancies are at a higher risk of post partum depression or post partum anxiety, so be on watch for those, too!)

As for worrying about SIDS, I was super paranoid for months and months. I'm still occasionally worried, and my 2 year old is out of the risk category! Hopefully, you will be able to deal with it better than I did!

Rebecca said...

Now everybody wants to know why I'm crying in the newsroom. You are amazing.

sara said...

So glad to hear that you are doing well. She is so absolutely beautiful! I love the fuzzy hair. Brynn's hair still does that too..she doesn't have too much. But what she has does that. I hope week three is a good one for you all!