Friday, December 5, 2008

25 Weeks Today

Today baby girl reached 25 weeks gestation, and with that her long-term odds start to improve dramatically. I'm starting to get a bit less terrified, but I'm still pretty anxious. Yesterday, I had a consult with a NICU doctor. He told me what to expect if I deliver soon. It's scary stuff, but every day makes a difference.

I'm happily IV-free today, but my hand feels like it was clocked with a hammer where one of the the last IV ports was placed, so it's still pretty tough to type. (The needle had apparently slipped out/through the vein and the day nurse didn't realize it.) For today, I'm off the IV meds. It's nice to be able to wash both of my hands fully when I go to the bathroom.

It's the little things.

It's actually been 9 days since I left my hospital room. On a normal day in a normal life, you have thousands of choices to make as you go about your business, and thousands of variables float in and out. But here, I probably have less than 50 choices to make throughout my day, and about 25 of them are "should I go to the bathroom now?" And the number of variables is very small, limited mainly to the level of competence of the nurse who shows up for the next shift and whether the kitchen forgets my dinner roll/tea/dessert/etc.

The other day I was staring out the window and saw a little red byplane happily looping around in the distance. I'm pretty sure it was a model, although it was impossible to tell the scale for sure. But it was a nice little reminder that surprising things can still happen to me while I'm in this room.

Steve brought me a book, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, and he brought my iPod and speakers, so my long afternoons are going a little faster these days. My mom is sending that Twilight book some of you have recommended, so that is next on my list. My voice seems to be starting to come back (I have been hoarse for a few days) but talking on the phone is still hard. Things are still a bit too scary for me to have visitors other than my family, but I'm hoping to be here a while longer, and I figure if I make it to 28 weeks I might be ready to see more people. Maybe.

For now I just want to lie here quietly and gestate.

10 comments:

Ken said...

Hey there -- just waving hello and letting you know I'm thinking about you. I'm glad everything is still going well but you must be going stir crazy in the hospital!

Leena said...

25 weeks! Great milestone. Still pulling for you and baby girl.

dcpeg said...

You keep goin', GIRL!! Glad you've got some good distractions. I'd fly my kite for you, but I don't want to intrude.

Fingers still crossed!!

Beth said...

Just wanted to leave a little hello for for you. Many hugs and prayers coming your way. Stay strong!

sara said...

Oh girl! I am so sorry I have been so absent during this rough time for you. I feel like a total smuck...I have left one of my UU girls hanging out in no man land by herself while you've been going through hell. I can totally relate to your present situation and for that I am so sorry you have to go through this. I wish that there was more I can do. Please please please email me at bauman.sara@gmail.com if you ever want to vent or just need an ear to listen. Heck, I would honestly give you my cell number as well if it helped you get through a tough moment. Hope that doesn't sound too weird...but I know what a tough time this can be. You are doing an awesome job so far and I am so proud of you making it to 25 weeks. Lots of hugs to you!! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as well. You're going to get through this, even when stuff seems crappy...there is an end in sight and I know you're going to be sitting there at 30 some weeks looking back going...wow that was rough...but we made it through. Us UUers are a tough bunch...you're doing great!

sara said...

Sending some hugs and support your way!

Martha said...

Hi, I'm a friend of Sara's to let you know you are not alone. Sending my best for the health and happiness of your wee one, you too, of course.

Amanda said...

I came over from Sara's blog. You and your little girl are in my thoughts and prayers.

I've heard The Shack by William P. Young is an excellent book.

Aunt Becky said...

Came by via my girl Sara to wish you good luck with everything. Sounds like you're just as wonderful as she is.

I'll be back to visit and I'll be praying for you both.

Jen said...

Found you through Sara, and just sending some positive vibes! Hang in there, you've made it to the first milestone!