Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Denizens of the Night

The other night, I was getting a bottle out of the fridge around 4 a.m. when I noticed a car parked haphazardly across the street, engine running, lights on, driver's door open. And then I saw a middle-aged woman in dumpy clothes running toward our house. Full speed. With what looked like alarm on her face.

My heart started racing. Why was this woman running toward me? Did she see me in the kitchen with the light on? Does she need my help? Is she being chased by someone dangerous?

Holy shit! She was running up our sidewalk. Should I yell for Steve? Oh my god!

Then I heard a smack on the porch and saw her run back down the sidewalk, jump into her car, and speed away.

I stood frozen in the kitchen, Lexie in my arms, heart pounding. Finally I made a decision. I threw open the front door.

And I saw it -- sitting right at my doorstep:

The Washington Post.

14 comments:

caramama said...

It's better than a steaming bag of poop. Usually. ;-)

Bluebird said...

Ack!!! Oh my gosh I'm cracking up right now because I was SO Terrified for you! Scheeze :)

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

That's hilarious. Crazy Washington Post couriers. You just never know these days. :)

dcpeg said...

Great story! You really know how to build suspense -- now I'm laughing out loud!

Come to think of it, when my sisters were new moms, they had wild ideas about how they would defend their babies from a possible attack, flood or any other unlikely scenario. It's that mothering thing, ain't it?

m said...

LOL. (I so never use that expression, but really, I am LOL-ing)

Brenna said...

HAH! Great story--love it. The Washington Post...oh, how I miss that paper (if not the crazy delivery peeps!).

Washington Cube said...

This is why the Post is losing readership: it's being delivered by "middle-aged" women in "dumpy clothes." I think they need to have thong wearing Post delivery. Run a Craig's List, WaPo. Plenty of thong-wearin' girls up at that hour anyway.

nutmeg96 said...

I can't say I blame her for the dumpy clothes, really -- it's probably not a job you'd want to dress up for. And I haven't worn pants without elastic waistbands in months, so who am I to talk? :P

Christy said...

Ahahaha. Fabulous.

areyoukiddingme said...

They actually get out of their cars to deliver the paper? I guess that's the benefit of delivering papers in the suburbs - a quick toss onto the driveway.

I had some unreasonable fear issues just after my daughter was born. It took several months before that calmed down.

Mijke said...

The things you run into at those early hours... Must make you feel good to know you're not the ONLY one who's wide awake at that time of night ;-)

sara said...

That is so so funny! When I used to leave for clinical at 4:30AM I used to see this car going slowly down our street. It used to creep me out and I thought someone was stalking our neighborhood. One morning I saw something fly out the window. Yup, they were delivering the Detroit Free Press door to door, LOL! Post more pictures soon...I'm on baby withdrawal!

Elizabeth said...

LOL What a great story! It's amazing how differently your mind works and the world looks at 4am.

Mary said...

There is a re-run of the Mystery Diagnosis show on Saturday at 5pm CST. It was really interesting.